credit crunch crushes mr christmas' christmas!

I don't really know what is more pathetic here, a man that celebrates Christmas everyday, or a man that can no longer celebrate Christmas everyday due to the credit crunch.

Mad.

But Andy Park has apparently celebrated Christmas day every day for the past 14 years. According to the Metro he has eaten over 5,110 turkeys, 94,080 mince pies, 24,224 roast potatoes and pulled 204,400 crackers.

The has also watched the queens speech every day for the last 14 years-so he says.

I can't help but think that someones been telling mincey pies!

I love Christmas, but i really think this is going a little bit too far, i think you would be literally sick of Christmas if you ate all this everyday!

Telegraph Mr Christmas article

Stop showing catch ups!!!!! Please!!!!

I am a very obsessive person.

Today I have had lots of things to do yet have been unable to go out due to the fact I started watching the Gilmore Girls on E4.

Every Saturday they show the 5 episodes that were aired Monday through Friday. Obviously, since I'm at uni between the hours or 10 and midnight so during the week I can't watch it (except Thursdays when I spend my day off watching The OC, One Tree Hill, and Gilmore Girls in an endless American cycle).

But every Saturday morning I get up and think, 'I'll just watch the 1st episode-then I'll go out'.

5 hours later-I'm still in my pyjamas sitting in front of the TV. Go Figure.

Why am I so obsessive??? I EVEN REWATCHED THE EPISODE I SAW ON THURSDAY!!

And now I've wasted another Saturday day, just to move on to my next obsession-spending 3hours getting ready to go out. Grrrrrrrrr.

Lady in Red, the Domestic Goddess

So the Daily Mail is practically orgasming over  the dress Nigella Lawson wore to the NSPCC fund raising party last week.

Yes. It is a nice dress.

But I am not convinced that it really does look good on everyone.

In fact i don't even think it looks good on the four writers who tried it on. But then maybe that is because there is only so much magic a red dress can do,

They are right, it does look stunning on Nigella, but then for two and a half grand, it should! 

Also, Lawson could look stunning in a bin bag, yes she is curvaceous, but she's not fat. More importantly,  she's very beautiful. If she had mousy brown thin hair, a bland face and pasty skin, the dress would make no difference, she would still look drab, a bit like the 4 in the Mail who tried it on.

 Nigella wears clothes that make the best of her figure, the clothes take her from a 9 out of 10 to an 11. She knows her style and what works for her. The Mail are ridiculous for thinking that everyone should copy her and wear this dress. Most people cannot pull of red. And that's a fact.

Person style is important. Sometimes it doesn't work, but that's not the point. Fashion is about expressing yourself not conforming to what everyone else thinks is the must have for the season.

So for Nigella, the dress IS perfect. But everyone else.....not so much.

The barbie doll injection

Not satisfied with fake tan, and sun beds, the plastic brigade is now flocking to have the tan jab.

That's right, you can now have an injection to make you look tanned, well actually 1o injections, you have to be injected at least 10 times before it works.

Melanotan is being advertised as a short cut to a 'safe' tan. How can injecting yourself with a illegally bought chemical be safe?? It has to be illegal for a reason.

It is true that the drug is found in small substances naturally in the body, but that does not mean it is safe to inject!

What's more you cannot even prove that it works! So £20 and ten injections later, you might just end up with blood poisoning and a septic arm, now that will look attractive!

I know sun beds are are bad idea, but this is surely worse!

Buy a bottle of St Tropez girls, I know £36 seems expensive in one go, but when you work out how many uses you get, it's like £2 a week (well more if you want to look really orange I guess).

Tip: Apply with a sock instead of a rubber glove, a more even tan will be achieved! :)

Rich Kid Poor Kid

So I'm watching Rich Kid Poor Kid on c4, and despite all there differences there girls both have one glaringly obvious thing in common, their bad attitude.

Are all teenage girls this rude??

At least the Poor one is funny, she has some personality-the little rich girl girl is just mean.

But the thing is, as much as it pains me to say it, i can in some ways identify with her views.

I look down on chavs too :s

but at the same time, it gives you an insight, it shows you that it really is the parents who bugger their kids up :(

The rich girls mum is racist,  and the poor girls mum is mentally deranged :S

basically what ever class your parents are from, they screw up up.

Rich Kid Poor Kid

How to not get work experience grrrrrr

• apply to one place at a time-out of courtesy of course
• apply to multiple places at a time, in the hope of one saying yes
• apply via email- very politely stating what you want-either get no reply or a rather rude one from the Telegraph review
• call- very unhelpful switchboard assistants whose goal in life is not to let you speak to anybody

Possible ways i might try to get work experience

• offer to give them money so I can work there
• stand outside the offices with a banner saying 'MA student wanting to work FOR FREE'
• stalk the editors of the company, sit outside the office, track down their home addresses, call them at all hours of the night!
• sleep with the mail boy (that probably won't work)
• start a campaign of hate against the publications and only agree to disband unless the give me work experience.

Lenny burger vs Lenny concarne- I know what I'd rather!

So it may well be the end of the greasy, dirty and oh so satisfying burger van!!!!

Why!!!!!!

Council workers in Guilford have been warning burger van vender's that if they do not 'healthen up' their menus they may well not have their licenses renewed.

According to the Daily Mail the council wants to see "Low fat grilled sausage, whole meal bread, chill con cane with lean mince, and jacket potatoes with fillings" on the menu.

They are also considering limiting the amount of mayonnaise people can have.

The only people who really visit burger vans are the drunk and disorderly, I certainly wouldn't dream of going to one sober.

But after 1 or 2....or 12 alcoholic beverages of an assorted variety ( I normally start with wine, have a few sambucas then end up on the gnats piss we call a wkd) there is nothing I want more than to visit my mate Lenny at his burger van.

(Or if I'm in Southend-Darius in the kebab shop)

And excuse me, but at 2am, the last thing on my mind is my health-I just want something to try and stop me vomiting.

If that's what a cheese burger with an obscene amount of mayo and ketchup will do for me, then what right has the council got to completely ruin my night? (And make more work for the street cleaners btw)

Further more, who is really going to try and stop me from having as much mayo as I want?? Surely not my mate Lenny!!

I know burgers from burger vans are not good for you-but to be honest, when I'm drunk I don't care.

I know the rule- 1 burger in every 3 from Lenny could conceivably kill you-and I've suffered the consequences, more than once :S.

But at the end of the day, it's my choice. Sometimes I want a greasy mayo filled burger. End of.....

Also, I'm not fat, so who cares anyway.

Uni work-Poppy appeal

This has nothing at all to do with the rest of my blog, but what the hell, I'll put it up anyway :)

White versus red- the poppy appeal

The red poppy is a symbol of remembrance worn on 11 November, but some people feel it is out dated.

Pacifists have suggested it is inappropriate to wear a red poppy. They believe the symbol promotes war and that it is acceptable to kill for justice.

Instead lobbyists such as the Peace Pledge Union (PPU) said: “There are better ways to resolve conflicts than killing strangers” and so encourage wearing a white poppy on remembrance day.

The Royal British Legion has said to the BBC “A red poppy is not about glorifying war, it is a recognition of human sacrifice” In their opinion, any poppy has value.

News coverage portrays the white poppy as a new idea, but the campaign has actually been around since 1933.

Red or white?

Despite the PPU promoting white poppies, it is rare to see people wearing them. This might be due to their general unavailability.

This reporter has yet to find anywhere that sells them other than the PPU website, and many people are not aware that there is an alternative.

Rose Winterby, 37, Twickenham, had never heard of them.

“I haven’t seen them anywhere”, she said.

Father Jerry Devlin, from St Marys Chaplaincy in Twickenham had heard of the white poppy but felt “the red poppy is more appropriate as it is a nationally recognised symbol, and the white one sometimes offends veterans. They feel it discredits their comrades who lost their lives”.

Are poppies a thing of the past?

It is common to see the elderly wearing poppies, but younger generations do not seem so keen which suggests there is no longer a place fro remembrance in modern society.

Ben Forteath, 21 a student disagrees “of course we should remember those who gave their lives for our freedom. It’s not just soldiers in the great war we remember but all the wars - even Iraq”

Steve McQueen’s ‘Queen and Country’ is a modern form of remembrance. He immortalised those who died in Iraq by putting their faces on postage stamps.

The cat sat on the mat :P

It has emerged today that the rug Kate Winslet lounged on for her Vanity Fair photo shoot was made out of REAL fox fur.

The Titanic actress, who is an anti fur advocate was led to believe the rug she posed on was faux fur by the magazine. Vanity Fair has been forced to apologise to the actress although they issued a statement saying

"Although there were both real and fake furs on set, the fur we used in the photograph is real. We thought Miss Winslet was aware of this and we're sorry for the miscommunication"

Kate's photographs have caused much speculation this week, mainly over her 'seemingly' perfect body. People have suggested that the photo's have been severely photoshoped, with her figure completely reshaped.

Even though this is usual practice for magazines, Kate Winslet has previously gone on the record saying that she was proud of her curves after GQ magazine used photoshop to make her look thinner and taller in 2003. 

This is all very interesting....not.

The reason this article caught my eye was more to do with a serious sense of De Ja Vu.

The previous week in a class assignment we had to invent a story from the phrase, 'the cat sat on the mat'. Me and my two friends concocted a story about an actress with strong views on animal rights, who was duped into sitting on a rug made out of snow leopard fur for a photoshoot!

How funny.

Articles

Faux fur article

November 5-now we can get back to normal

So the American election is over-Obama won.

I'm happy about this for several reasons, firstly the Democrats are back in, and secondly, and perhaps more importantly, we Brits no longer have to read about it everyday. I think there was far too much coverage of the election in the British press, I bet the Americans don't have half as much coverage of our elections.

There is one woman I'm going to miss though, Sarah Palin. Not because she was a political genius, no, but because of the humour she brought to so many lives. If she had got to the white house, the world would have been a far funnier, (albeit disorganised) place.

What will become of Bush?

The one person who seems to have been forgotten recently, is George Bush. He hasn't got long in his presidency left, and he's certainly not making the most of it-I don't think he's actually done anything recently-(except star in a film about his life of course-Josh Brolin really looks so much like him!)

So what will he do once his terms over??? Here are a few suggestions, some obvious....some not so obvious

• write an autobiography, go figure
• hook up with Sarah Palin and run as her vice president when she runs for president in 4 years time! (Granted this is not actually allowed but neither of them are exactly the brightest crayons in the box and they probably haven't read the rule book) this really would be a dream team
• become Barak Obama's personal stalker (this is what ex London Mayor Ken Livingstone seems to be doing to new Mayor Boris Johnson-I spotted him skulking in the back at the London Assembly last month. If he can do it, why can't Dubya?)
• start up a range of clothing, 'powersuits for the not so powerful man'
• go off to Afghan and fight with all the other men (yeah right)
• salesman, he's very convincing, after all he managed to blag his way into the white house for 8 long years !

Incedentally another important thing happened on the 5th November....the Starbucks cups went back to red! Long live the christmas cup!!!!!!!!!!

Things that really annoy me-a moaning list

• getting up at 6.30am
• baristas who repeatedly get my coffee order wrong! Tall, Skinny, Caramel Capachinno to go-how hard is that??
•  hard core feminists who think that looking good is degrading-they're just ugly and bitter.
• people who wear stupid outfits just to get noticed-today i saw a girl with blue tights with white bones on then. I imagine it was meant to look like her sceleton...it just looked stupid, AND made her legs look fat
• coloured tights in general-i decided never to wear red tights after i heard a man pointing to a girl wearing them on the train saying "it looked like she'd had her period down them"
• Jamie Oliver- he really and truly sold out
• big bank bosses still getting bonuses and ridiculously large ammounts of money while tax payer foot the bill
• Granny Pants
• people who don't like pirate facebook- oh arrrrrr!
• wearing flip flops in the rain
• the fact that I've lost the scroll bar on my word for mac?? (if anyone knows how to get it back pleasssssssse tell me)
• x factor- a show for talentless idiots
• simon cowell- a talentless idiot
• the fact that there are no more harry potter books coming out
• when people don't email me back-Glamour Magazine I'm refering to you!!!!!
• spilling things down white tops
• men in general-need i say more?
• that my eyebrows ALWAYS need plucking!
• Sarah Palin thinking she was talking to Sarkozy-come on girl!!!!!

Sexy shoes! Don't give me feminism

Shoes shoes shoes. Why is there suddenly so much about shoes in the media?

The facination with health issues has suddenly come about due to Antonio Berardi's heel-less shoes and Gwyneth Paltrow's obsession with uber high heels.

It is all damage to your feet this, female oppression that, remember the corset this, sexual innuendo that.

So what???

What difference does it make is a girl wears heels or flats??

Well, in my opininon it makes a good deal of difference.

In heels, I feel, sexier, slimmer and generally more attractive. A cute pair of shoes makes an outfit like no necklace or bag can. I have no problems putting up with a little bit of discomfort for that extra feel good boost. I think the higher the better, (Im 5ft 10 and I still wear 4inch platforms).

Some people, just don't get that, and thats fine, wear your ballet pumps by all means. Just don't try and make me feel bad for having longer cuter legs than you on a night out!

The 'wacky' food festival- a gluten free morning

Yesterday I went to the annual Gluten Free food festival in Grays in Essex. 

And no, this was not because as one of my friends put it "I'm a wacky vegetarian" (He didn't even get the right type of diet)- but because my mum suffers from coeliacs disease and she feels that t is important to 'patronise' these things even if you don't want to go to highlight the cause.

And she's right.

Of course it was a pain to have to go, but if we, and other people didn't, perhaps companies would stop making so much gluten free food. There isn't enough of it as it is, so you have to take every opportunity to raise awareness, even if you'd rather be in bed.

Indeed, me and my mum both complained that a certain company no longer made gluten free cherry beer, (who on earth would want to drink that??) because one man we met was upset about it and wanted them to produce it again.

But it was a good thing to do, because the company said they would re look into making it.

Who or what is a coeliac??

My mum. haha.

A coeliac is some one with an intolerance to gluten. Gluten is found in flour so basically in simple terms, a coeliac is some one who is allergic to all things with flour in them

• bread
• pasta
• cakes
• biscuits
• cereals
• pastry
• sauces thickened with flour
• lost of fried food (batter)

and lost of things you wouldn't expect. Around 1 in 100 people suffer from this disease but so few people understand it.

Coeliac society