My anti valentines day

Now I have never been fond of valentines day, whether i'm in the singleton camp, permanantly attached to someone else, or in a blurry confusseled place between the two.

I don't like it when i'm single because obviously im bitter and just want to throw up every time I see a heart or a rose. 

BUT

I also hate it when i'm not because I truly do not believe you should have just one day to say that you love someone. It's something that should be done everyday not once a year. And for the same reason I'm not a fan of anniversaries, so what you've been together 2 years, 3 years....why congratulate yourselves for that? If your with someone you should treasure them all the time! not take them for-granted 364 days a year and be nice to them once to even it out!

Anyway, having split up with my bf at christmas, yesterday I was a bitter and twisted singleton all morning, then promptly forgot all about it at the prospect of an 'anti valentines day skool girl' party me and my friends were having that evening. (By some stroke of 'luck'-is that really the right word??-we all seemed to be single)

So determined to get very drunk and have a good night we started partying around 8.30, and pretty much forgot entirely about it being valentines day and got incredibly drunk, and played a lot of singstar.

It was only when we went out that we were reminded of what losers we were.

The club was dead.....and filled with particularly desperate looking men....perhaps we looked desperate too?eek? and it then occurred to me that no one else was out because everyone else....i mean everyone....the whole town practically (minus a few freaks)-has a significant other.

Or at least someone they could call up so they didn't feel too pathetic on valentines day.

So there wasn't much atmosphere in Bakers.....but it being half empty had some huge bonus points from when i was standing

1 every song i requested (no matter how crap) was played

2 every shout out i had was, well, shouted out lol

3 I could bust some amazing moves without jumping on top of someone and causing a pile up

4 No queue for the bar.

So after feeling momentarily pathetic-I had an amazing night!

The only thing missing was the lack of male talent......but then since I'm seriously contemplating becoming a lesbinim, that didn't really bother me :P

9021 0h no!

90210, America's richest postcard-with America's skinniest legs. These girls are tooooooooooo skinny, (well not Annalynne Macord-Naomi Clark she has a beautiful figure and looks healthy) but Shenae Grimes (Annie Wilson) and Jessica Stroup (Silver), ewww.

Don't get me wrong these girls are very gorgeous.....until your eyes drop past their hips. Their legs are literally like twiglets-spindely and boney and to be honest not remotely attractive. Basically they are too thin.

Now , clearly the show wants to show these girls off to their full potential, so either make them put on 5lb a piece or keep them in jeans because toothpick look is not a good one.

Nor is it helpful to promote a bodytype that so clearly is the result of under eating.

Stand these two girls next to the original 90210 cast, and wow! Stand these two girls next to Shannen Doherty and Tori Spelling from the original cast and the older generation look positively obese.....and we all know they're not. Tut.

Snow week :)

So I finished work ex and have spent the last week buggering around. I was going to be good and blog everyday, practice my shorthand, and research some possibly story ideas, but instead i did.....well i just didn't to be honest.

However I'm blaming my lack of work on the snow-everyone i know had a couple of days off work due to it.....so why shouldn't i have chilled too?

Not that my week was unproductive of course, i had the culinary experience of cookies and tgi fridays, the cultural experience of the cinema and various dvds and american trash on tv (I today cried at CROWNED a beauty queen reality show), i travelled-up the M25 and back again, and celebrated life with tribal dances (I went clubbing and got hideously drunk) and i practiced my communication skills (I sent a lot of texts)

I also spent a lot of time sleeping.

The one think i didn't do this week was shop, a real rarity i must say-but you see shopping involves going outside and since its cold, i have no money and my credit card bill hadn't been paid by that point-i thought it best i declined from my favourite activity.

On another note, i start back at uni tomorrow, so i will once again be on top of the news agenda and reading the Guardian on the train and pissing off whoever im sitting next to by waving the paper in their face. woop woooooooooooo

Is big beautiful??

So I spent the day reading about how Nathalie Cassidy and Jessica Simpson have recently put on weight.

Jess has easily gone up 2 dress sizes from her 36-24-36 days and thats me being polite. Cassidy has gone form a size 16 to a 8 back to a 16 in less than a year. Which is not good.

But the point im making is that all the comments written by other people who read these articles on line say things along the line of 'these girls look fantastic with a few extra pound on them' 'big is beautiful' 'a handful is better than a stick any day'.

Excuse me, but anyone that thinks Jess looks better now then when she was Daisy Duke MUST be taking crack. MUST.

Now I'm not saying she isn't beautiful, because she is, and I'm not even saying she's fat, because she clearly isn't-but it is laughable to say that she looks better now than she did in 2004.

I think people who say they prefer chunky monkeys are lying, curvy yes, fat no. And believe me there is a huge difference.

I've always thought Cassidy was rather butch to say the least, but for the short time in which she dropped those dress sizes she looked awesome. And you could see in her face that she knew she looked awesome- in photo's taken this week she looks glum and depressed. Get back in the gym girl!

Most people who say they're not fat they're just big boned are lying. I should know, I have big bones. I'm 5 foot 10, with man size hands and size 7 feet. My hips are also disproportionately large compared to my top half. If i wanted to be big-believe me I could be-and if i was I would certainly claim i was big boned, as after all I am! But thats no excuse for being over weight...well it is.....but it's a crap one.

Court clothes-how to get a guilty verdict before you even open your mouth.

So right now I have the urge to right some really personal things just to get them off my chest. And if my blog wasn't so clearly labeled as mine or come up on my facebook wall then perhaps I would. But it does so I'm not going to.

Instead, I'm going to write about fashion in the courts.

I asure you, it's a real eye opener.

Now, if I was (God forbid) to ever have to appear in court, I, like the other right thinking members of society would wear a sombre suit, (and possibly show a little leg in case it was a sexually frustrated male Judge). I would also be clean-as personal hygiene is very important.

But today, in Southend Magistrates Court, I saw some REAL sights.

So, when appearing in court, I have discovered that it is fashionable to wear sweat pants. rolled down at the top so your pubes are showing, and rolled up at the leg to show off your fake uggs. Note- they must be fake- real are soooooo passe.

These should b accompanied by a t-shirt, 2 sizes too small so it rides up over your pertruding stomach and preferably with a vulgar saying em-blazed on the chest.

On top of the t shirt should be a ratty looking anorak (from a market stall obviously) and if its shiny black PVC- you know you've got the look down.

Jewelry wise remember-more is more. Be like a gypsy and wear all you've got, and if you don't have a pair of thick over sized hoops, invest in them- it will certainly impress the judge.

Finally the most important aspect of the look, a nice flick knife in your pocket-you never know when you might need it.

Day 2.

Day 2 of work experience.

Again pretty uneventful. Spoke to a few people on the phone and got some lame arse quotes and wrote more picture stories.

Then one of the guys that works in the office (not a sub) said he'd looked over what I wrote and tweaked it. Fair enough, so i looked at what he'd done and he'd completely re-written it! And whats more (and I'm not saying this because I'm arrogant and bitter) it was so much worse than what i'd written in the first place! It was clumpy and the sentences were too long. Now i certainly do not claim to be shakespeare, and i can take constructive criticism, but what was the point in that?lol

So being at work I missed Obama's acceptance speech :(

And get home in time to watch a triple bill of Friends :P 

Work experience day 1

So today was my first day at work experience at the Southend Echo. After having a complete nightmare trying to park, i ended up parking in the £15 a day multi storey (although due to my cunning and genius I took my car out and put it back in at mid day so I only paid £9 woop!). I will be looking for somewhere more pocket friendly tomorrow.

I arrived at 9.30 (after a quick confidence boosting trip to Costa Coffee) and was instantly unsettled by the grim silence of the place, to be honest I don't think anyone was that thrilled at the prospect of ANOTHER work experience kid. Which, you know, is fair enough really, I'm perfectly aware that most get under their feet and are always doing things wrong or asking winey questions....but then how do we learn??

So after sitting quietly for maybe 15mins I trotted off behind Laura to go sit in the Courts for 3 hours. I'm always amazed at the amount of idiots in Southend, I really shouldn't be but I am. One guy was being tried for 4 armed robberies, but tried to get out on bail by showing the Magistrate his back. Yes, really.

In the afternoon, I wrote 3 little stories to go along side some pictures on utterly irrelevant things in an effort to fill space. For the most part i spent the day looking up the presidential celebrations and wishing i was part of them lol.

Not a bad day in all.