credit crunch crushes mr christmas' christmas!

I don't really know what is more pathetic here, a man that celebrates Christmas everyday, or a man that can no longer celebrate Christmas everyday due to the credit crunch.

Mad.

But Andy Park has apparently celebrated Christmas day every day for the past 14 years. According to the Metro he has eaten over 5,110 turkeys, 94,080 mince pies, 24,224 roast potatoes and pulled 204,400 crackers.

The has also watched the queens speech every day for the last 14 years-so he says.

I can't help but think that someones been telling mincey pies!

I love Christmas, but i really think this is going a little bit too far, i think you would be literally sick of Christmas if you ate all this everyday!

Telegraph Mr Christmas article

Stop showing catch ups!!!!! Please!!!!

I am a very obsessive person.

Today I have had lots of things to do yet have been unable to go out due to the fact I started watching the Gilmore Girls on E4.

Every Saturday they show the 5 episodes that were aired Monday through Friday. Obviously, since I'm at uni between the hours or 10 and midnight so during the week I can't watch it (except Thursdays when I spend my day off watching The OC, One Tree Hill, and Gilmore Girls in an endless American cycle).

But every Saturday morning I get up and think, 'I'll just watch the 1st episode-then I'll go out'.

5 hours later-I'm still in my pyjamas sitting in front of the TV. Go Figure.

Why am I so obsessive??? I EVEN REWATCHED THE EPISODE I SAW ON THURSDAY!!

And now I've wasted another Saturday day, just to move on to my next obsession-spending 3hours getting ready to go out. Grrrrrrrrr.

Lady in Red, the Domestic Goddess

So the Daily Mail is practically orgasming over  the dress Nigella Lawson wore to the NSPCC fund raising party last week.

Yes. It is a nice dress.

But I am not convinced that it really does look good on everyone.

In fact i don't even think it looks good on the four writers who tried it on. But then maybe that is because there is only so much magic a red dress can do,

They are right, it does look stunning on Nigella, but then for two and a half grand, it should! 

Also, Lawson could look stunning in a bin bag, yes she is curvaceous, but she's not fat. More importantly,  she's very beautiful. If she had mousy brown thin hair, a bland face and pasty skin, the dress would make no difference, she would still look drab, a bit like the 4 in the Mail who tried it on.

 Nigella wears clothes that make the best of her figure, the clothes take her from a 9 out of 10 to an 11. She knows her style and what works for her. The Mail are ridiculous for thinking that everyone should copy her and wear this dress. Most people cannot pull of red. And that's a fact.

Person style is important. Sometimes it doesn't work, but that's not the point. Fashion is about expressing yourself not conforming to what everyone else thinks is the must have for the season.

So for Nigella, the dress IS perfect. But everyone else.....not so much.

The barbie doll injection

Not satisfied with fake tan, and sun beds, the plastic brigade is now flocking to have the tan jab.

That's right, you can now have an injection to make you look tanned, well actually 1o injections, you have to be injected at least 10 times before it works.

Melanotan is being advertised as a short cut to a 'safe' tan. How can injecting yourself with a illegally bought chemical be safe?? It has to be illegal for a reason.

It is true that the drug is found in small substances naturally in the body, but that does not mean it is safe to inject!

What's more you cannot even prove that it works! So £20 and ten injections later, you might just end up with blood poisoning and a septic arm, now that will look attractive!

I know sun beds are are bad idea, but this is surely worse!

Buy a bottle of St Tropez girls, I know £36 seems expensive in one go, but when you work out how many uses you get, it's like £2 a week (well more if you want to look really orange I guess).

Tip: Apply with a sock instead of a rubber glove, a more even tan will be achieved! :)

Rich Kid Poor Kid

So I'm watching Rich Kid Poor Kid on c4, and despite all there differences there girls both have one glaringly obvious thing in common, their bad attitude.

Are all teenage girls this rude??

At least the Poor one is funny, she has some personality-the little rich girl girl is just mean.

But the thing is, as much as it pains me to say it, i can in some ways identify with her views.

I look down on chavs too :s

but at the same time, it gives you an insight, it shows you that it really is the parents who bugger their kids up :(

The rich girls mum is racist,  and the poor girls mum is mentally deranged :S

basically what ever class your parents are from, they screw up up.

Rich Kid Poor Kid

How to not get work experience grrrrrr

• apply to one place at a time-out of courtesy of course
• apply to multiple places at a time, in the hope of one saying yes
• apply via email- very politely stating what you want-either get no reply or a rather rude one from the Telegraph review
• call- very unhelpful switchboard assistants whose goal in life is not to let you speak to anybody

Possible ways i might try to get work experience

• offer to give them money so I can work there
• stand outside the offices with a banner saying 'MA student wanting to work FOR FREE'
• stalk the editors of the company, sit outside the office, track down their home addresses, call them at all hours of the night!
• sleep with the mail boy (that probably won't work)
• start a campaign of hate against the publications and only agree to disband unless the give me work experience.

Lenny burger vs Lenny concarne- I know what I'd rather!

So it may well be the end of the greasy, dirty and oh so satisfying burger van!!!!

Why!!!!!!

Council workers in Guilford have been warning burger van vender's that if they do not 'healthen up' their menus they may well not have their licenses renewed.

According to the Daily Mail the council wants to see "Low fat grilled sausage, whole meal bread, chill con cane with lean mince, and jacket potatoes with fillings" on the menu.

They are also considering limiting the amount of mayonnaise people can have.

The only people who really visit burger vans are the drunk and disorderly, I certainly wouldn't dream of going to one sober.

But after 1 or 2....or 12 alcoholic beverages of an assorted variety ( I normally start with wine, have a few sambucas then end up on the gnats piss we call a wkd) there is nothing I want more than to visit my mate Lenny at his burger van.

(Or if I'm in Southend-Darius in the kebab shop)

And excuse me, but at 2am, the last thing on my mind is my health-I just want something to try and stop me vomiting.

If that's what a cheese burger with an obscene amount of mayo and ketchup will do for me, then what right has the council got to completely ruin my night? (And make more work for the street cleaners btw)

Further more, who is really going to try and stop me from having as much mayo as I want?? Surely not my mate Lenny!!

I know burgers from burger vans are not good for you-but to be honest, when I'm drunk I don't care.

I know the rule- 1 burger in every 3 from Lenny could conceivably kill you-and I've suffered the consequences, more than once :S.

But at the end of the day, it's my choice. Sometimes I want a greasy mayo filled burger. End of.....

Also, I'm not fat, so who cares anyway.